CONFIDENCE

As I sit at my desk looking at the pictures on my walls of my friends and I over the last few years, the first thing that comes to mind is how happy, carefree, and most importantly, confident, I look. Now that I’m in my second year of university I can safely say that the person I am now is very different to the person I was a few years ago, and that is all down to self-confidence, something which 5”2, frizzy-haired me certainly didn’t have back in secondary school.

Confidence means different things to different people, but for me, one of the biggest hurdles to overcome, leading towards self-confidence, is not caring what other people think. It’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s opinions and wanting to fit in, but really, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter if the Regina Georges of the world don’t like your skirt; if you do, then rock it. During fresher’s week I was beyond stressed about what my new flatmates thought of me, trying to fit in and worrying that I’d be judged for going down to breakfast in halls in pyjamas, that I nearly forgot to have fun. One year later and I’m best friends with the people I lived with in first year and some of my closest friends are those I bonded with over our slipper choices. Remember, you do you.

As someone who has always been very insecure, learning to love my imperfections was one of the most difficult, but most important steps to 'being' confident. So what if you’ve got a spot resembling a unicorn horn in the middle of your forehead (like I did for prom, and yes, it was almost the end of the world back then)?! You accept it, apply a face mask and move on because everyone is in the same position. Coming to university presented a whole new audience to hypothetically laugh at my insecurities, but inevitably, as I’m sure many of you can relate to, this didn’t happen, because we’re not in primary school anymore. Everyone has elements they don’t like about themselves and that’s ok.

Although I feel like I’ve got a lot of traits down to a T when it comes to confidence, something I will always struggle with is self-belief. I’ve never been able to sit down and say to myself ‘hey, this is going to be really good’ or ‘you can do it!’ – it can be something as simple as attempting a perfect winged liner, to something just as nerve wracking like a driving test (which I still haven’t passed 2 years later), self-assurance just doesn’t come naturally. I keep reminding myself that becoming confident in yourself is a journey and it takes time – it’s something I’m constantly working on.

So, if I could go back in time, what would I tell my 16-year-old self? The main thing would be ‘you’re fab, don’t listen to what anyone one else says’. Do what makes you happy and what you love, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. There are so many things that I didn’t do because I was so worried about other people’s opinions and it’s only now I’m that little bit older that I’ve finally realised it doesn’t matter. Also, don’t hide the amazing things you’re doing from the people around you because you’re worried they might laugh – I wish I’d told my friends about my blog back in 2014 when I first started writing, instead of keeping it a secret. The most important thing I’d tell myself though? Wear that black lipstick to your Year 11 prom with pride, you looked fierce.